Don't Talk To Me

There are certain topics in life that I'm simply not capable of holding a conversation about. You know the feeling--- when everyone is talking about last night's game and you're not sure what sport they are even talking about. Or, everyone is talking in detail about a movie that 'everyone' has seen.... but you. It's awkward.

So, here's a list of topics that are off-topic, for me. Don't even try.

1. Lord of the Rings. I don't get it & I don't want to. I have watched only a few minutes of the movie(s) and it made me want to gouge my eye out with a plastic spork. Some people find that offensive. If that's you, I'm sorry. Wait, no I'm not... this is my blog.
2. Harry Potter. I'm sure it's a cute movie and edge-of-your-seat book, but I simply have not seen them. I do not know the characters. I do not understand your references. I'm just going to smile and nod.

3. Sports, just in general. I will sit and watch a game socially if you'd like to have me over for the 'big game'.... but otherwise I really don't care.

4. Wine. I simply don't like the taste. Nothing against wine; I have tried to like it. I feel a little like an outcast at wine-type gatherings.... holding a goblet of what appears to be milk.

5. Celebrities. I have celebrity amnesia. That means I can't remember who is who (or should that be whom?) or who was in what movie. I try, I really do. If we are playing Pop Culture Trivia Pursuit, you do not want me on your team.

6. History. I liked history class once I got a really good teacher in high school. I remember some 'key' things from flashcards like how Dorthea Dix fought for the rights of the insane or how Ethan Allen was in the Battle of Fort Ticonderoga. But, please don't ask me about which war was which or what countries won.
7. Politics. I grew up in a house where politics were not discussed. Therefore, I was shocked to meet Nathan and to find out that normal members of society talk politics all the time. I'm surprised he married me; he's so passionate about certain aspects of politics.... and I'm not. I'm learning but still can't hold a conversation worth having.

8. Music Groups of the 80s and early 90s. It's like I didn't own a radio until I got my driver's license or something. And, I'm not sure why I didn't own all the same cassettes the rest of you owned. I was living under a rock... known as my parent's house.

9. i things. Like the iphone, itunes, or ipad. I have the cheapest possible cell phone with the cheapest possible plan. I've never even sent a text message (*gasp*). Maybe someday I'll move up, but for now I'm livin' cheap. That's right..... icheap.
10. Star Wars. I know, everyone has seen it. I have seen bits and pieces. Keegan & Nathan watched it together in our hotel room over July 4th weekend. I tried to watch, but it just couldn't hold my attention. Lasers. Creepy robot guys and furry men. Space. I get the picture... I just don't want to see it nor do I understand your references to it. I know, now you're thinking I'm just plain un-American.

Wow, now that I typed all of that out-- I feel really lame. Am I really an outcast? Or, just someone you don't want on your 'phone a friend' list if you're on a tv game show!?

So, I'm curious-- what are your off-topic topics? Do share. Am I totally alone out here?

Or, give me a call on my icheap phone and we'll talk about something.... something not on the list, that is!