Vote For Amber
I know the elections are over, but I've been thinking about what my platform would be if I ran for office.
If you vote for me, here are the TOP 15 things I'll fight for:
1. Those funky square milk jugs (like at Sam's Club) will be illegal. Let's face it, no one can pour from them without dribbling. Or is it just me?
2. All Post Offices will have drive-thru windows.
3. Everyone gets their birthday off work. If you are a stay-at-home mom, then childcare is provided.
4. Homeless people will be given foster homes.
5. Every weekend is a 3-day weekend. The work-week should only be Monday-Thursday.
6. Store cashiers will be required to say "Thank you!" to each customer. Phrases such as "There ya' go!" or even a kind "Have a nice day!" will not suffice.
7. If it's late at night and nobody is around, it will be OK to go straight on a red light.
8. Instead of paying taxes, we'll just have donation buckets available at every grocery store. If you want better roads, for example, you contribute to the bucket marked, "Roads". If you want a new stadium, you contribute to the bucket marked, "Stadium." And, so forth.
9. We'll rotate which citizens can perform citizen's arrests or give tickets. For example, for the month of January, anyone with a last name ending in A or B can give tickets or arrest people. We'll rotate each month with who is allowed to do it.
10. Jury duty will be done remotely.
11. Shopping carts at all stores must have working seat belts and drive smoothly. Stores will receive a ticket for bad carts.
12. Pumpkin Delights will be sold year-round, not just in the fall.
13. All the horses or animals on merry-go-rounds must be the kind that go up and down.
14. All large parking lots will have a retractable roof installed over them for rainy or snowy days.
15. Pudding will get more publicity. It's good and cheap, but so often forgotten.
I'm pretty sure this covers all the important issues. I also promise not to do hokey commercials or ads that tear down my opponents. Or, commercials involving wiener dogs (no reason.... I just hate wiener dogs). Look for "Amber Waves of Grain" on your next ballot!
If you vote for me, here are the TOP 15 things I'll fight for:1. Those funky square milk jugs (like at Sam's Club) will be illegal. Let's face it, no one can pour from them without dribbling. Or is it just me?
2. All Post Offices will have drive-thru windows.3. Everyone gets their birthday off work. If you are a stay-at-home mom, then childcare is provided.
4. Homeless people will be given foster homes.
5. Every weekend is a 3-day weekend. The work-week should only be Monday-Thursday.
6. Store cashiers will be required to say "Thank you!" to each customer. Phrases such as "There ya' go!" or even a kind "Have a nice day!" will not suffice.
7. If it's late at night and nobody is around, it will be OK to go straight on a red light.
8. Instead of paying taxes, we'll just have donation buckets available at every grocery store. If you want better roads, for example, you contribute to the bucket marked, "Roads". If you want a new stadium, you contribute to the bucket marked, "Stadium." And, so forth.
9. We'll rotate which citizens can perform citizen's arrests or give tickets. For example, for the month of January, anyone with a last name ending in A or B can give tickets or arrest people. We'll rotate each month with who is allowed to do it.
10. Jury duty will be done remotely.
11. Shopping carts at all stores must have working seat belts and drive smoothly. Stores will receive a ticket for bad carts.
12. Pumpkin Delights will be sold year-round, not just in the fall.
13. All the horses or animals on merry-go-rounds must be the kind that go up and down.14. All large parking lots will have a retractable roof installed over them for rainy or snowy days.
15. Pudding will get more publicity. It's good and cheap, but so often forgotten.
I'm pretty sure this covers all the important issues. I also promise not to do hokey commercials or ads that tear down my opponents. Or, commercials involving wiener dogs (no reason.... I just hate wiener dogs). Look for "Amber Waves of Grain" on your next ballot!
VOTE FOR AMBER!!!!!!!!
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